|
Elite Veteran
Posts: 1187
  
| I have come to recognize the TRUE challenge of my life. As I ponder it, it seems pretty daunting. I smile at this, because I know it's the ego that is suggesting to fear this new thought. For something deeper inside me knows that this is the core, the heart, the central issue that I must face. This thought is absolutely contrary in every way to all the thinking of the world. Seen from the world's perspective it is absolutely crazy. And for those that would at least entertain the notion that it isn't crazy, most wouldn't even dream of actually applying it to themselves in their daily lives. They would no doubt say that it was highly impractical, irresponsible, or even downright dangerous.
But here it is... the ONE challenge, the ONE thought, from which I have nowhere else to turn, nowhere else to look, nowhere else to hide.
This is the awareness that the TINIEST irritation, the momentary impatience, the most insignificant & fleeting experience of anger, the seemingly justifiable feeling of hurt or sadness, and even the common cold... are ALL attempts BY ME to kill the Son of God, to render him GUILTY and deserving punishment. By my distress, in ANY form, I model to him that he is NOT innocent.
It is astounding to me, when I look at my life, my daily experience, and realize how OFTEN I model guilt. In countless ways I do this. Bug bites, irritation at my daughter, annoyance with my in-laws, impatience at the traffic light, menstrual cramps, headaches, boredom, need for attention... and the list goes on and on and on.
Dear God, can it really be that I choose DEATH in every one of those moments? It really is incredible.
But it all comes back to... WHAT DO I WANT?
I've connected to a place in my heart that I genuinely want to show my brother how lovable and innocent he is. And I hear the thought reverberating in my mind... do you want this enough to be the evidence of total well-being in his presence?
The answer is an undeniable YES.
And the next question to me is... do you believe you can actually do this NOW?
Well, I think, it does seem incredible. But I have witnessed the power of God. I have had such miracles, such synchronicity, such incredible turn of events that could not be explained by anything shy of Divine Intervention. I have received love from walls, windows, trees, grass, clouds, computer screens. I have connected to a unity and peace within which I felt completely intune with all of life. And in those moments I was aware of being KNOWN, intimately.
And so if all that was possible, and was experienced already... why not this? After all, there is no order of difficulty to miracles.
I know this is possible... and not only through theoretical musings. I have had a change of mind, right in the middle of being upset, only to return to instant peace. I have had a strong skin reaction to bug bites disappear within half an hour due to my willingness to accept innocense NOW. I have held a little bird in my hand that I found on the ground who wasn't moving, only to pray a while and have it fly away.
There has been a momentum building, a movement in my mind that says THE LIGHT IS HERE. With every passing day, it draws nearer... because I allow it. I welcome it. I want nothing else but this.
Forgiveness is my only function. The atonement begins with ME.
With my deepest, most heartfelt appreciation to all my partners in the ocean of life,
Julie
| |
|
The Challenge
